The most valuable lessons in life are not taught in school. So I am writing them here as I go, in the hope of making it easier for my children and other hapless readers.

On how to get people to listen to you

Speak calmly and slowly

Have you noticed how sages always speak calmly and slowly? Have you noticed how people tend to listen to sages?

Speak only when needed.

In a meeting with several people, wait for others to make their points; they will sometimes make some of your points. The more rarely you speak, the more people are interested in listening, so save your voice for the points that no one else makes.

Precede your views with phrases such as 'I believe', 'I think', etc.

While absolute statements tend to invite contradiction, no one can correct you on what you believe.

Compliment other people when appropriate

Everybody likes to be appreciated. And most everybody deserves it from time to time.

When you criticize actions by members of your team, use the first person plural

'We are doing something wrong' invites less defense than 'You are doing something wrong'

Frame issues from a point of view that unites people in agreement

For example, if you want to reduce teaching personnel to raise teacher salaries, talk about rewarding teachers (which is uncontroversial). Let the group figure out that reducing personnel may be needed to achieve the goal. Likewise, if a desirable initiative requires additional expenditures, get people to agree on the desirability of the initiative before worrying together about how to pay for it. The first and last chapters of George Lakoff's Don't Think of An Elephant --Know your Values and Frame the Debate should be mandatory reading.

Give people the opportunity to think of the answer themselves before telling them what it is

People feel much better about doing something they thought of themselves. Plus, sometimes they'll give you a better answer than you would have come up with yourself.

Read the book How To Make Friends and Influence People, and re-read the core principles often.

On buying a house

Buy a house as soon as you can afford one. As long as the population keeps growing (in California, mostly through immigration), property values only go up in the long term, and the sooner you get into the system, the sooner your net worth will start going up with them. See, the one thing about a time when you can afford a house is, if you don't buy, you never know if you'll be able to afford one again.

Credits: Erick Herring, Michael Harris.